Korea, kimchi and tea.
When I think of Korea, the first foods that come to my mind are bulgogi, purple rice, and kimchi. Two out of three I love! But kimchi…well, I know Koreans eat a lot of kimchi. Their yearly consumption is around 1.5 billion tons. Whoa! Sadly I'll admit to not being a huge fan, but with Korea boasting over 200 varieties I’m on a mission to keep sampling kimchi until I find one I like!
Kimchi can be made with many different vegetables and needn’t be spicy. Recipes are passed down for generations, and I find that to be a lovely tradition we can all share.
I’m familiar with Dr. Bennett’s The Kimchi Diet book. While I don’t believe in any diets per se, I do believe the author when she says kimchi is a powerful probiotic-rich food that fortifies our microbiome. These days Koreans eat a lot more simple carbs but they also eat kimchi as a side dish with every meal. This fermented food may help offset some of the more negative foods Koreans have added to their modern diet. I’ll agree with that, however, eating fermented foods as an excuse to “junk out” is not wise. A lapse in good eating happens, and that’s OK! Repeated exposure to a new food does increase the likelihood of tolerating or enjoying that food.
Kimchi can be made with many different vegetables and needn’t be spicy. Recipes are passed down for generations, and I find that to be a lovely tradition we can all share.
I’m familiar with Dr. Bennett’s The Kimchi Diet book. While I don’t believe in any diets per se, I do believe the author when she says kimchi is a powerful probiotic-rich food that fortifies our microbiome. These days Koreans eat a lot more simple carbs but they also eat kimchi as a side dish with every meal. This fermented food may help offset some of the more negative foods Koreans have added to their modern diet. I’ll agree with that, however, eating fermented foods as an excuse to “junk out” is not wise. A lapse in good eating happens, and that’s OK! Repeated exposure to a new food does increase the likelihood of tolerating or enjoying that food.
Koreans believe in “nunchi”, which translates to “eye measure”. This concept can not be directly translated into English. Nunchi embraces the keen observation of other people’s feelings and thoughts and then responding with sensitivity. This idea fits in very nicely with the Korean high standard of being respectful. Filial piety, the social principle of “paying back” to parents, is part of Confucianism and observed by many East Asian cultures.
In Korea, each family member is interdependent and has clearly defined roles. Separateness and autonomy are not praised by Koreans. A life without duty to the family is considered impersonal and lonesome. Koreans honour and celebrate their duty of this natural reciprocal relation between parent and child. In fact, children are legally responsible for the care of their ageing parents. While S. Korea is modernizing, some family values are becoming more relaxed. In contrast, the States are youth-centered and self-centered. Most parents feel just the opposite. We do not want our children to take care of us in old age as we cherish our independence. I think we are afraid to grow old. In Korea, this idea is absurd since ageing, elders, and ancestors are celebrated elaborately. Ageing is cultural as well as biological.
While the East and West have different perspectives on the family I think we can come to some middle ground. Children who do not learn to cooperate and be kind to others will not have a successful life. I agree that consideration and kindness are of the utmost importance. I also believe our elders can have a special place in our lives and assisting them when they need us gives us back something intangible, but lasting, and important. I think by the time you are a senior you realize that being helpful gives us purpose. Receiving kindness makes our day. We must each follow our moral compass and decide how we treat others and ourselves.
In Korea, each family member is interdependent and has clearly defined roles. Separateness and autonomy are not praised by Koreans. A life without duty to the family is considered impersonal and lonesome. Koreans honour and celebrate their duty of this natural reciprocal relation between parent and child. In fact, children are legally responsible for the care of their ageing parents. While S. Korea is modernizing, some family values are becoming more relaxed. In contrast, the States are youth-centered and self-centered. Most parents feel just the opposite. We do not want our children to take care of us in old age as we cherish our independence. I think we are afraid to grow old. In Korea, this idea is absurd since ageing, elders, and ancestors are celebrated elaborately. Ageing is cultural as well as biological.
While the East and West have different perspectives on the family I think we can come to some middle ground. Children who do not learn to cooperate and be kind to others will not have a successful life. I agree that consideration and kindness are of the utmost importance. I also believe our elders can have a special place in our lives and assisting them when they need us gives us back something intangible, but lasting, and important. I think by the time you are a senior you realize that being helpful gives us purpose. Receiving kindness makes our day. We must each follow our moral compass and decide how we treat others and ourselves.
Children are born selfish but compassionate too. Humans are hard-wired to be both, assuring our survival. Children learn best from nurturing environments where they feel safe. Everyone is special but not getting “special” treatment is key to being part of a family. We all know that it is impossible to control unwelcome changes. It is a great teaching moment when parents show children that they are not alone in the world of pain and suffering. A child can see how other people handle unpleasant situations differently and learn from them. Mindfulness can change our relationship to life’s challenges.
I like nunchi very much and love saying the word! Who hasn’t witnessed a rude passenger on an airplane and wished they would exhibit their “kinder and bigger” self? If being insensitive, and narcissistic is unattractive in a child, well, in an adult it is insufferable. I’ll never forget an eye-opening moment on an especially long-delayed flight. When passengers were finally all on board and the drink cart came down the aisle I could see how tired our steward looked. I shared a few words with him and said thank you. He replied, “You're my first thank you on this flight”, I looked down at my seat number which was row 62! How can that be possible? As the flight progressed and folks settled down the steward and I bonded a bit more. Later during the flight, he brought us some extra chocolates. Now, who says kindness doesn’t pay?
I like nunchi very much and love saying the word! Who hasn’t witnessed a rude passenger on an airplane and wished they would exhibit their “kinder and bigger” self? If being insensitive, and narcissistic is unattractive in a child, well, in an adult it is insufferable. I’ll never forget an eye-opening moment on an especially long-delayed flight. When passengers were finally all on board and the drink cart came down the aisle I could see how tired our steward looked. I shared a few words with him and said thank you. He replied, “You're my first thank you on this flight”, I looked down at my seat number which was row 62! How can that be possible? As the flight progressed and folks settled down the steward and I bonded a bit more. Later during the flight, he brought us some extra chocolates. Now, who says kindness doesn’t pay?
I think I was raised with a bit of nunchi. When my parents came home from work or shopping we children all quickly flocked to greet them. It was expected and ingrained in us to be helpful and respectful in this way. I suspect my parent’s power had something to do with the stink eye that they could shoot at us when we misbehaved. My parents were not “spankers” and I remember only one spanking in my life and it felt humiliating. But they had the “look” of disapproval down! I wasn’t sure making kids feel guilty was constructive but after reading up a bit...it turns out to be ok! When appropriate, guilt can help a child to build a conscience. Yay! Guilt is not the same as shame. Shame is not helpful to anyone or at any age. Sometimes it’s hard to know what the right thing to do is but I learned that raising my son helped me to raise myself. Nothing will be perfect but keep communicating, we will get through.
Sadly I don’t think I was able to use the stink eye on my son when he may have needed it. Instead, I relied on verbal communication. And lots of it. Whenever Shane was inappropriate I would tell him we are gonna have a TALK. For me, this was no big deal as I simply wanted our son to understand how to better handle himself and it gave me a chance to cool down. For him, it meant covering both his ears and crying, “No, please, not THE TALK!” as if it was the most dreaded punishment I could inflict on him. For Shane, it was. I’ll say it a thousand times, you must have a sense of humour when raising children. They will bewilder you, amaze you, irritate you, delight you, and sometimes they may act as if they hate you. Always love them. Remember their work is to wear us down and manipulate us to get what they want. Our work is to nudge them out of their comfort zone and allow them experiences.
Sadly I don’t think I was able to use the stink eye on my son when he may have needed it. Instead, I relied on verbal communication. And lots of it. Whenever Shane was inappropriate I would tell him we are gonna have a TALK. For me, this was no big deal as I simply wanted our son to understand how to better handle himself and it gave me a chance to cool down. For him, it meant covering both his ears and crying, “No, please, not THE TALK!” as if it was the most dreaded punishment I could inflict on him. For Shane, it was. I’ll say it a thousand times, you must have a sense of humour when raising children. They will bewilder you, amaze you, irritate you, delight you, and sometimes they may act as if they hate you. Always love them. Remember their work is to wear us down and manipulate us to get what they want. Our work is to nudge them out of their comfort zone and allow them experiences.
While Korea is famous for many delectable dishes I also want to focus on beverages. Do you know what the number one drink in the world is? It’s water. Yes, that surprised me at first and then it seemed obvious. The second most consumed beverage in the world? I got this one... tea (soup is the fifth)! Tea is enjoyed by people in every country and with over a thousand varieties one is bound to suit you (but will there be kimchi I like?). Remember herbs, like food, are medicinal too, so if while drinking banana peel tea you feel drowsy afterward, make a note of it or take a nap (as I did).
Here is a “tea” memory dear to me. My mother preferred tea her whole life and together we shared the love of teatime. When I was very young I was given fruit and flower teas, but as I got older I drank black tea with honey and lemon. Sharing tea with Mutti at our kitchen table, with maybe a small cookie, was a cherished time to have my mother to myself. My mother was the best storyteller I have ever known. When she passed away years ago I put an old tea kettle on a stump, on the path to my garden. When I walk by it each morning I often think of her and know she’d like that sentiment. With so many children drinking unhealthy beverages I thought I’d share with you the beautiful ritual of having tea.
Here is a “tea” memory dear to me. My mother preferred tea her whole life and together we shared the love of teatime. When I was very young I was given fruit and flower teas, but as I got older I drank black tea with honey and lemon. Sharing tea with Mutti at our kitchen table, with maybe a small cookie, was a cherished time to have my mother to myself. My mother was the best storyteller I have ever known. When she passed away years ago I put an old tea kettle on a stump, on the path to my garden. When I walk by it each morning I often think of her and know she’d like that sentiment. With so many children drinking unhealthy beverages I thought I’d share with you the beautiful ritual of having tea.
I’ve created an activity page you can try with your kids or grand-kids. First I will advise drinking herbal tea as most children do not need caffeine. They already out energize us! Having never tried citron tea, which is very popular in Korea, I went to a local Asian grocer to find some. Sadly I could not find it, but I did discover corn silk, barley, and mung bean tea, to name a few. How cool is that? I think we’ve been limiting ourselves to what we consider to be tea.
Drinking tea, called “cha” in Korea, brings numerous health benefits! Tea has many antioxidants and may even significantly lower LDLs and triglyceride levels.
Tea began as medicine in China and a medical text dates drinking tea back to the 3rd Century AD. It is healthiest when consumed without sugar. Adding fruit, honey, or stevia are healthier sweeteners to try. You can also use a little jam to sweeten tea.
If you get the kids into the kitchen to brew tea they are bound to love it a lot more. This is known as the Ikea effect. When I volunteered at our local Farm2School program I saw grade school children beg for a leaf of kale from the garden to chew on. Really? I’m quite certain their reaction was less emphatic at home, but who’s complaining? Not I, I’m thrilled. I think being in the garden or kitchen is infectious and sampling the things you grow or create means more to us and tastes better, too.
Drinking tea, called “cha” in Korea, brings numerous health benefits! Tea has many antioxidants and may even significantly lower LDLs and triglyceride levels.
Tea began as medicine in China and a medical text dates drinking tea back to the 3rd Century AD. It is healthiest when consumed without sugar. Adding fruit, honey, or stevia are healthier sweeteners to try. You can also use a little jam to sweeten tea.
If you get the kids into the kitchen to brew tea they are bound to love it a lot more. This is known as the Ikea effect. When I volunteered at our local Farm2School program I saw grade school children beg for a leaf of kale from the garden to chew on. Really? I’m quite certain their reaction was less emphatic at home, but who’s complaining? Not I, I’m thrilled. I think being in the garden or kitchen is infectious and sampling the things you grow or create means more to us and tastes better, too.
Celebrate tea and nunchi Korean style. Have tea parties often and remember to rate each tea recipe. How did it smell, look, and taste and what did you add? Perhaps you will even investigate the Korean tea ceremony where special etiquette is displayed in serving and drinking tea. For example, holding the teacup in two hands is proper and a good habit for young and old alike. Sprinkle some flower petals on the table, serve tea in a special cup or get dressed up for a great teatime party. Find the right balance for your own life. Let the world slow down and enjoy the kids.
For my New Year’s resolution, I’m going with the science that if I try kimchi each week for a year I will learn to like it. Pineapple kimchi anyone? Hmm, I’ll let you know. Dalai and I wish you a happy, tasty cooking adventure, and...we wish we could be there with you!
For my New Year’s resolution, I’m going with the science that if I try kimchi each week for a year I will learn to like it. Pineapple kimchi anyone? Hmm, I’ll let you know. Dalai and I wish you a happy, tasty cooking adventure, and...we wish we could be there with you!
Heide Horeth and Dalai
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