Is sharing the key to community?
The meaning of the word “community” seems to have evolved quite a bit from our ancestral days when our survival was intertwined with trust, honesty, and willingness to work and fight together. I was once told when visiting the Hill Tribe people in Venezuela that they may not have electricity or modern conveniences but they also have no word in their language for lies or crime. They are enlightened people. When people live in harsh but amazingly beautiful remote locations they need to count on each other as brothers and sisters. It makes sense and part of me longs for such a betrothal outside my marriage. Wait. Maybe I need to broaden my idea of what community can mean in the developed world today. Bowling clubs, sewing circles, 4-H, gardening groups, sports, music, politics, religion, artists and the like are all current examples. Yet they don’t quite measure up to my understanding of what our early communities once could offer. We live in greater populated areas but are, perhaps, more isolated than ever. Homelessness, mental health and other socio-economic issues are some of the repercussions of it. Being part of a “tribe” connects you in an unconditional way that brings many benefits. Did you know that new evidence suggests that the Neanderthals had a deep sense of compassion and cared for their people, even when sick? (https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/science-news/8043421/Neanderthals-had-deep-sense-of-compassion-new-study-suggests.html) They could take comfort in the fact that they were not alone, felt safer, less stressed and were of value to the group. Today one needs a whole lot of insurance to get that safety net.
I met my husband when I was about 36 yrs. old while he was in the throws of building a geodesic dome that took somewhere between 13-17 years to finish. Is it finished now? Hmm, the wife still sees some things that need work. For Mr. Squire, well, it’s a wrap. It was an amazing accomplishment for a man who had little building experience but was never shy to seek out the help he needed. Jerry also has what I call “in-depth” reading skills and does not skim over things like his wife. He’s also my editor! We are grateful that my husband learned and received so much help from folks who were willing to share their expertise with him. Many times we gleaned leftover materials which saved us money, but never labor or time. Pulling nails from old lumber and re-planing wood are just two examples of things you are happy to do to save money when you are young and building a home paycheck to paycheck. Jerry learned everything from ground-breaking and foundation work to finish work and roofing for the first time, mostly from folks we now call friends. For the most part people do love to help. With such a community of friends gratitude it is an affirmation of goodness. An important sentiment if you are lucky enough to feel it.
As time went on we joined forces, married and had a son named Shane. Our house was not finished for many years but the work was creative, rewarding, and we stayed on course. I remember climbing two ladders to get upstairs, plastic covering our window frames and a table saw in the living room. The work definitely brought us closer as did starting a family. My husband and I are both the “babies” in our family. We collectively now have only two siblings left between us. We are both independent baby boomers who forged new territory to call their home and made friends we consider our new family. Our like-minded work ethics, lifestyle, and politics all help bind us tightly. We have changed some over the years. As young new parents, we made friends at our son’s school and club activities. Later as we had more time we could follow personal pursuits like music and the gym. With maturity, and house projects winding down, we found the desire to give back to our community through volunteer work.
“Community” in the traditional sense is disappearing for many of us. Social media has become the new community for many. Facebook, Instagram, and other platforms are proving very rewarding and useful venues for many of my friends. As a pragmatist I have to use social media to sell my cookbook. On the other hand, I loved being able to use Skype with my son who lived abroad for two years. Real interactions can never be replaced by technology. Wow, how things have changed, clearly I am not a product of this new world. I’m sure my clinging to old and familiar ways is prevalent in every generation. Let’s move into the community kitchen where we are likely to speak a common language and come together.
Growing up I remember my mother cooking and shopping for all our meals. There were several occasions where the whole family was invited into the kitchen to help her. One was during canning time as everyone proved useful to harvest, clean and prepare the fruit and vegetables for preservation. The second was when my mother made yeast bread. With no motorized mixer in our home, doughs were still hand-beaten in large bowls to make them light. I can still see my father's strong arms beating the dough against the side of the bowl and enjoying the dull sound of the beating process. The magic of the blisters on the dough signaled that our work was successful. I am thrilled to add that that mixing bowl happily has a place in my home today. Lastly, we decorated cookies and dyed Easter eggs together as a family tradition. I don't remember any arguments around these food adventures. Work was done with clear quick rewarding results which is the happiest kind of connection for a child to make. I can still see my mother's preserved food in large glass canning jars lining the shelves in our cellar food pantry. To this day when I see my own food put up, or even firewood stacked for that matter, I feel rich knowing we will have what we most need. These happy "stocking up" feelings must be ancestral in origin. These days with just my husband and me home alone I find I have to fight off these urges to over-purchase and cook too much. Oy vey, my freezer is maxed out!
I met my husband when I was about 36 yrs. old while he was in the throws of building a geodesic dome that took somewhere between 13-17 years to finish. Is it finished now? Hmm, the wife still sees some things that need work. For Mr. Squire, well, it’s a wrap. It was an amazing accomplishment for a man who had little building experience but was never shy to seek out the help he needed. Jerry also has what I call “in-depth” reading skills and does not skim over things like his wife. He’s also my editor! We are grateful that my husband learned and received so much help from folks who were willing to share their expertise with him. Many times we gleaned leftover materials which saved us money, but never labor or time. Pulling nails from old lumber and re-planing wood are just two examples of things you are happy to do to save money when you are young and building a home paycheck to paycheck. Jerry learned everything from ground-breaking and foundation work to finish work and roofing for the first time, mostly from folks we now call friends. For the most part people do love to help. With such a community of friends gratitude it is an affirmation of goodness. An important sentiment if you are lucky enough to feel it.
As time went on we joined forces, married and had a son named Shane. Our house was not finished for many years but the work was creative, rewarding, and we stayed on course. I remember climbing two ladders to get upstairs, plastic covering our window frames and a table saw in the living room. The work definitely brought us closer as did starting a family. My husband and I are both the “babies” in our family. We collectively now have only two siblings left between us. We are both independent baby boomers who forged new territory to call their home and made friends we consider our new family. Our like-minded work ethics, lifestyle, and politics all help bind us tightly. We have changed some over the years. As young new parents, we made friends at our son’s school and club activities. Later as we had more time we could follow personal pursuits like music and the gym. With maturity, and house projects winding down, we found the desire to give back to our community through volunteer work.
“Community” in the traditional sense is disappearing for many of us. Social media has become the new community for many. Facebook, Instagram, and other platforms are proving very rewarding and useful venues for many of my friends. As a pragmatist I have to use social media to sell my cookbook. On the other hand, I loved being able to use Skype with my son who lived abroad for two years. Real interactions can never be replaced by technology. Wow, how things have changed, clearly I am not a product of this new world. I’m sure my clinging to old and familiar ways is prevalent in every generation. Let’s move into the community kitchen where we are likely to speak a common language and come together.
Growing up I remember my mother cooking and shopping for all our meals. There were several occasions where the whole family was invited into the kitchen to help her. One was during canning time as everyone proved useful to harvest, clean and prepare the fruit and vegetables for preservation. The second was when my mother made yeast bread. With no motorized mixer in our home, doughs were still hand-beaten in large bowls to make them light. I can still see my father's strong arms beating the dough against the side of the bowl and enjoying the dull sound of the beating process. The magic of the blisters on the dough signaled that our work was successful. I am thrilled to add that that mixing bowl happily has a place in my home today. Lastly, we decorated cookies and dyed Easter eggs together as a family tradition. I don't remember any arguments around these food adventures. Work was done with clear quick rewarding results which is the happiest kind of connection for a child to make. I can still see my mother's preserved food in large glass canning jars lining the shelves in our cellar food pantry. To this day when I see my own food put up, or even firewood stacked for that matter, I feel rich knowing we will have what we most need. These happy "stocking up" feelings must be ancestral in origin. These days with just my husband and me home alone I find I have to fight off these urges to over-purchase and cook too much. Oy vey, my freezer is maxed out!
So for a kitchen community project, I have many ideas to share! (see my clipboard below). How about reading the book Stone Soup by Marcia Brown and then making the recipe with each guest bringing one ingredient for the soup pot? This is a great way to prepare a meal with little effort and for all of us to eat healthily! I can see paring this dinner with a game night. Decorating cookies or cupcakes together for a special occasion or dessert would be a fantastic dinner finale. Remember older children can often take the lead in these activities by picking a theme, making invites, decorating and planning the food activity.
Another way to talk and share about how differently we may cook and eat at home is to have a sandwich swap. This idea comes from the book Sandwich Swap by Rania Al-Abdullah and is a lovely story about two friends judging each other’s lunch and.....well I don't want to spoil the story’s ending but perhaps you can see how this activity might work. Having a sandwich swap could involve children bringing one sandwich to share. Sandwiches can easily be cut into 2-4 or more pieces to share with others. This is a great way to discover more foods and more about each other. I have heard some interesting sandwich combinations like bacon and nut butter, tomato slices and peanut butter, pickles and peanut butter, avocado chickpea sandwiches and so on. I also have witnessed that if kids make it... they will usually eat it, even if the combinations seem odd to us. Once I saw a child make a nut butter, bologna and lettuce sandwich which he devoured and said was delicious! Why not? I was happy over the addition of lettuce! Nourishment comes from more than food. It also comes from community. So it’s of no surprise that these two pair famously. Community is like having an extended family hardwired into our DNA. It is a wonderful relationship to build with your children, family, friends and neighbours. Nurture children to be helpful, kind and giving and you shall reap what you sow. While sometimes we all need someone to lean on, I often find people love to be helpful. In the end, I think the givers may just be the fortunate ones. Giving someone something they need makes your brain react almost the same way as when you’re eating chocolate…or having sex. Did I say that? You reward yourself with health and happiness in the process. Someone once said, “you don’t change the world by looking at it, you change it by living in it.” Live it well! Dalai and I wish you a happy, tasty cooking adventure and...I wish I could be there with you! |
Stone soup anyone?
Sharing sandwiches can lead to discoveries.
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Heide Horeth and Dalai
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